For the longest time, Amnesty International was banned in Indian occupied Kashmir. In 2010, Indian authorities have allowed Amnesty International to send a team to the Indian administered Kashmir for the first time since a deadly insurgency against Indian rule erupted here two decades ago. The two-person Amnesty team arrived Monday on a fact-finding mission. Their names: Bikramjeet Batra and Ramesh Gopalakrishnan!
Reformistani obtained an advance copy of Gopal & Birkitshit’s report:
(Please read in Indian accent to get full effect)
1) Upon furder objectification and tranjparent reserchification using the latest indijinush russian teknolgeez you know, we have done lots of dubba-dubba-ding-ding analysis using you know Microsoft C sharp .NET. Immejiately upon fiiiiinding the trubbles we sent to call-shenter
2) Upon analyshish. We have something that is to be most trubbeling you know. wouldn’t you know it, it is the kasmeeris that are violating the indian guvernment forces that are deeefainding the kasmeeris from EVIL baaashterd pakis! Those nice boys from our finest slums have taken up pojitions in the middle of kasmeeri residential areas to fight pakistanis on LOC.
3) SO it is to be that nobody claim uver good india is not biased, what we do is give exjamples:
4) On May 10th, Kasmeeri women and children ahhtaked the jecurity forces with loud noijes. They were to be saying we want freejom. one muscular 9 year old threw upon handsome soldier a vicious looking pebble with atleajt 2 sharp-sharp pointies. Pebble fell ten feet from heros and shatter, a fragment of pebble hit shoe of our jawan. Jawan fell to ground, the remainder jawans use great caution when phirring assualt-rifles. 3 dangerous toddlers, two 90 year old women eksxpired from pak artillery. One jawan shoe was injured. oh so very very bad. Conclujion = ISI responsible.
Shinsherely,
Gopal and Birkibirkishit
Addendum to GHQ
Sir, i must be makijng a complaaaint about my collegueate birkibirkishit. upon the dubba-dubba-ding-ding report and returning to highly guarded barracks in free/happy kajmir and layin upon my barrack bed, i feel a magnum flash-lite upon my posterior. Waking up see it is birkibirkishit doing kama-sutra upon me. when i tell him to desist, he fire voluntary dishcharje at my face. I know it is volunterry because he make smile upon making dishcharge. When I inquire about dishcharge, birkibrikishit tell me ISI made him do it.
i am to be demanding transhfer becoj if i wanted voluntray discharge i would do it myshelf.
Captain Gopal.
